Back to the Kitchen / 回到廚房

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I haven’t written about this on Sugared & Spiced yet, but it’s been 6 months since I got back to working full time in a professional pastry kitchen.

還未在Sugared & Spiced上寫過這件事情，不過我回到專業甜點廚房全職工作，已經六個月了。

A lot of people were surprised about this decision. It certainly seemed like I was living the ideal life – teaching pastry classes and writing on Sugared & Spiced was the perfect combination, and I also had the flexibility to travel whenever I wanted. Why would I quit this to go back to the professional kitchen, where it’s nothing but intense physical work, and getting paid only a fraction of what I was earning working for myself?

Because that, for me at the time, was too comfortable.

很多人對我再次回到廚房工作感到驚訝。之前教教課、寫寫文章，每天做著自己喜歡的事情，隨時都能來場說走就走的旅行。這樣隨心所欲的狀態如此理想，爲何要重回廚房做一份體力活、而且薪水只有之前幾分之一的工作？

因爲這個狀態對當時的我來說，太舒適安逸了。

I was working in Paris for about three years, which is very short as far as a patissier career goes. Sure, what I had in my pocket was adequate for teaching classes and perhaps even for opening a shop, but it didn’t feel “enough”. For the past two years in Shanghai, I was making pastries mostly for classes, which were too simple compared to the ideas I had in my mind. So I started to look for opportunities that can allow me to, simply put, level up.

我在巴黎學習工作幾年時間，以一位甜點師來說，其實還非常資淺。雖然所擁有的技巧和知識足以開課甚至開店，但自己覺得還不夠。離開巴黎，回到上海的這兩年雖然做著甜點，但以教課爲主，內容有很多限制，無法做出心裏所有想做的東西。如果有一個平台可以讓我再多學習、多精進、多探索，那我會抓住這個挑戰自己的機會。

So when such an opportunity presented itself, I pushed myself to grab it.

所以當這個機會出現時，我決定把自己再推出去一次。

If you follow me on my Wechat account (id: sugarednspiced), you might remember a message I sent out 6 months ago: “I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone again”. Though I didn’t explain it at the time, it was referring exactly to this decision of going back to working in a professional kitchen.

不知道你還記不記得我半年前曾經在微信公眾號 (id: sugarednspiced) 上發過一條信息… “最近做了一個決定，再次把自己輕輕地推出舒適圈” 所指的，就是回到專業廚房全職工作。

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Now,  it’s been half a year since I got back to the kitchen grind. During the past 6 months, there have been many instances that reminded me of those intense days back in Paris…

於是我再次開始了每天換上廚衣、帶上廚師帽、忙進忙出的日子。也因爲一些廚房的畫面，回想起以前在巴黎的瑣碎。

For example, when I see the clueless ways our interns hold a piping bag,  I remembered that I was once like them as well. I thought back to the days when I stayed after work to practice different piping methods, one plate after another, repeating hundreds of times until they became part of the body memory. Now everything seems so easy.

比如現在看著廚房裏的實習生生疏的動作，想起自己一開始也是連簡單的裱花都不會，一個人下班留下來練習。擠一整盤，抹掉，再擠一盤，抹掉，不停地重複，直到成爲身體記憶的一部分爲止。現在能輕易地擠出各種花樣了，在不知不覺之中熟能生巧。

And while we were preparing for Christmas recently, I fondly remembered that one year when my colleagues and I churned out over 6,000 Christmas logs, all wearing Christmas hats and working till the wee hours of the morning.

比如最近開始准備聖誕甜點，想起之前在巴黎的聖誕節連續數周在廚房加班，和同事們帶著聖誕帽，合力做了六千多個聖誕蛋糕。

When I bike to the metro these days, I remembered that while working at one Parisian pastry shop, I had to wake up at 2:30am everyday and bike across the Seine River in the dark and often in the rain. Instead of feeling reluctant, I was actually looking forward to starting work. It was at that point, if I remember correctly, that I realized that pastry really must be my true love.

比如現在騎著單車去搭地鐵時，想起在巴黎某家甜點店工作，每天淩晨兩點多摸黑爬起來，不論刮風下雨都騎著車橫跨塞納河去廚房，卻毫無怨言地平靜接受。不，應該說是非常興奮地期待踏入廚房的那一刻。如果沒記錯的話，大概就是在那時候發現，甜點是真愛了。

Along came memories of being yelled at and rushed by my senior colleagues “allez allez vite vite vite” (let’s go let’s go quick quick quick!). “Hurry up” became such a habit that I maxed out even the speed of walking and doing dishes. Now it’s my turn to rush the more junior staff on the team, but I can only say that my tone of voice is much, much softer than those of my Parisian colleagues…

還有當年被前輩們不停催促，allez allez vite vite vite（快一點快一點！），連走路和洗碗的速度都快到要飛起來。現在輪到我來催促團隊裏的同事們，不過我的口氣比法國同事們要來的柔和太多太多了…

From an intern to where I am now, it’s been a real journey.

從當年的實習生一路走到現在，有點感慨。

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The kitchen environment and working culture in Shanghai are completely different from those of Paris, and frankly, there’s a lot for me to adapt to. Furthermore, in Paris I was mainly just following instructions, but now I have to help manage the team, order ingredients, check inventory, sort out banquet event orders etc. In a short six months, I’ve seen and learned a tremendous amount.

上海的廚房環境以及工作氛圍都和巴黎有著巨大的差異，老實說有不少是我需要適應的。再者，以前的我大部分時間只需要聽從指示，現在則是需要幫忙安排團隊工作、訂貨、看庫存、整理單子等。短短六個月之內，增長了不少見識。

My day typically ends with finishing a banquet of hundreds guests, then taking the metro and biking home. Everything seems to be extra clear as I bike through the crisp evening breeze. It would be a lie to say that I don’t feel physically tired, but when I think about something that I’ve learned during the day, even just tiny details like the name of an edible flower, or a new way of whipping meringue, it is ultimately satisfying.

出完幾百人的宴會，結束一天的工作後搭地鐵再轉騎自行車回家已成爲常態。涼涼的晚風拂面而來，一切格外清晰。身體雖然不免疲憊，但因爲每天學到的東西一點一滴地在累積而感到滿足。其實很多是看似微不足道的事情，比如一種食用花的名字，或蛋白霜的另一種打法，但這些微小的收獲堆積起來卻能讓我到達新的高度。

To be honest, this job is not exactly what I had imagined, and of course not everything’s pink and rosy. I simply try to keep in mind the reason behind taking this job, and don’t intend to let these minor hiccups bother me.

其實這份工作跟自己原本的想象有不小的差異，當然也不是事事順心的，但我自己清楚選擇這一步的目的，並不打算讓這些小小的不理想影響我。

Nowadays I spend about 9 to 12 hours at work, not including the 2 hours of commute. Compared to the much  more intense kitchen life in Paris, the hours here are actually not bad at all, but one major difference is that while back in Paris I could relax completely after work, now in Shanghai there’s a lot more for me to take care of – writing on Sugared & Spiced Wechat account, teaching pastry classes, collaborating with brands, and of course, allocate time to family and friends, as well as leaving some blank space for myself.

現在的我，每天大概有9～12個小時在工作地點，再加上2小時的通勤，剩下的時間除了吃飯睡覺之外沒多少空閒了。非常忙碌。可能是人生最忙碌的一段了。雖然以前在巴黎廚房工作節奏比現在要更緊湊，不過下班後可以完全放鬆；而現廚房工作結束後還有很多事情要處理，比如微信公衆號的內容、Sugared & Spiced的活動、當然還要騰出時間和家人朋友相聚，以及留給自己一些空白。

It became clear that I had to cut down many things that I used to do, like attending brand events, restaurant openings, and social gatherings. I did feel a sense of “missing out” at the beginning, but slowly I came to realize that not much in life is absolutely necessary. Priorities naturally became clear, and after trimming off all the fluff, days actually became even more fulfilling.

空閒時間變少了以後，必要地修剪掉了很多之前的習慣。比如一些活動邀約，比如一些朋友聚餐。一開始覺得可惜，但漸漸發現其實沒有太多是 “必不可少” 的。事情的優先性自然地被整理出來，每天都非常充實。

Somewhat surprisingly, I’m reading a lot more since starting the full time job. Instead of passing time on the cellphone during the commute, I started bringing books on the road and finished reading a dozen of them over the past few months. It feels like having opened a few new doors.

令人有些驚訝的是，開始全職在廚房工作後， 我閱讀的時間反而增加了。因爲不想把每天在地鐵上的時間浪費在滑手機上，我開始帶著書出門，幾個月下來看了十幾本書，感覺又開了幾扇門。

I often notice that I hum to myself on the way home, and just from that, I know I’m on the right path. I genuinely feel grateful for having this opportunity to learn and grow.

自回廚房工作以來，我發現自己在騎車回家的路上經常不自覺地哼著歌。我知道現在正走在對的路上，也爲自己能有這樣的機會到新的環境體驗和學習，感到幸運。

Due to time constraint, pastry classes and updates on Sugared & Spiced are rather sporadic at the moment, but thank you, thank you for still reading :)

因爲全職工作的關系，過去幾個月甜點課程少了，微信公衆號以及部落格也更新的比較零碎松散，很多自己想寫的東西其實沒有時間整理出來。謝謝你在這樣的時刻仍然閱讀著Sugared & Spiced。

I plan to do this for another while, and hopefully by the end of it, I will have something pretty cool to share with you.

這段路還要走一陣子。希望，之後有某種經過沈澱後的東西，可以分享給你。